Coping with grief during the holidays: A body-based introduction

For many, the holiday season is portrayed as a time of joy, connection, and celebration. But for those living with grief, it can feel like navigating a storm in a room full of fairy lights. Memories can ambush you at the dinner table. The absence of a loved one is heightened by rituals that once brought comfort. And the pressure to feel "festive" can sit heavy on a heart that’s just trying to survive.

Rather than forcing joy or suppressing sadness, this guide invites you to turn toward the wisdom of your body. Your nervous system holds clues to what you need in each moment. When grief feels overwhelming, returning to your senses can be a powerful way to ground yourself — not to escape the pain, but to stay connected to yourself within it.

Here are several somatic strategies and body-based grief therapy practices to help you cope with holiday grief in ways that are gentle, attuned, and sustainable:

Name the Sensation, Not Just the Emotion

Instead of just saying “I feel sad,” try describing what your sadness feels like in the body. Is it a tight throat? A hollow belly? A foggy head? Giving language to sensation supports nervous system regulation and increases self-awareness.

Practice: Sit for one minute and scan your body from head to toe. Without needing to fix anything, just notice and name what’s present.

Anchor with Breath — But Not Too Deep

When grief is acute, deep breathing can sometimes feel suffocating or forced. Instead, try orienting breath — gentle, nasal breaths paired with looking slowly around the room. This could help you come back to the present moment without overwhelming your system.

Practice: Inhale gently through your nose. Let your eyes move slowly across your space, naming five things you see.

Create a Soothing Object Ritual

Holidays are full of sensory triggers. Create a counter-trigger: an object that reminds your body of safety or love. It might be a scarf that smells like a loved one, a weighted pillow, a smooth stone, or even a recipe that brings ease.

Practice: Hold the object. Let your hands memorize its weight and texture. Let it tether you when grief swells.

Shake It Off (Literally)

When your system is flooded — too many people, too many expectations, too many feelings — try neurogenic shaking, a natural way the body discharges stress. Animals do it. So can you.

Practice: Stand with knees soft. Gently bounce for 30 seconds. Let your arms shake loosely. Imagine the energy leaving through your fingers and feet.

Take Grief Outside

Nature has a quiet way of holding big feelings. Grief somatics isn’t always about calming down — sometimes it’s about moving through. A walk in the cold, a hand on a tree trunk, your breath visible in the air — these are rituals, too.

Practice: Bundle up. Step outside. Notice what feels alive around you, even in dormancy.

Set Body-Based Boundaries

Say no when your body says no. If an event, conversation, or invitation makes your stomach clench or shoulders rise, that’s information. Listening to your body is a form of honoring your grief.

Practice: Before saying yes, pause. Check in with your body. Ask: Do I feel expansive or constricted?

Give Your Body a Grief Sound

Crying is not the only sound of grief. Humming, sighing, groaning — all help tone the vagus nerve and support emotional release. If tears aren’t coming, sound might.

Practice: Sit quietly. Exhale with a low hum or gentle sigh. Let the sound vibrate your chest and throat.

Grief therapy that centers the body can offer you refuge during difficult seasons. These practices aren’t about “getting through” the holidays by numbing out or pretending to be okay. They’re about being with yourself in ways that are kind, honest, and deeply embodied. Whether you're grieving a recent loss, a long-ago absence, or a shifting identity, your body deserves care this time of year.