Family grief rituals: Co-creating meaning in loss

Grief doesn’t just impact individuals—it reshapes the emotional landscape of entire families. Even if you’re grieving a shared loss we often find that each family member is carrying their own version of heartbreak, and rituals can offer grounding, connection, and a sense of continuity in times of upheaval. While grief is deeply personal, engaging in collective grief rituals can help families stay emotionally connected and build a shared language around loss.

In my grief therapy work with families in Philadelphia and beyond, I often witness how creating intentional space for remembrance allows everyone—from young children to adults—to feel included and supported. These grief rituals don’t have to be elaborate! What matters most is consistency, emotional safety, and co-creating practices that feel meaningful to your family’s unique culture and beliefs.

Here are a few family grief ritual ideas that support emotional healing and nervous system regulation:

Create a Memory Jar Together

Invite each family member to write down memories, favorite quotes, or moments shared with the person who died. These can be added to a jar over time. This ritual allows even the youngest grievers to participate (they can draw pictures of their memories or put small items in) and gives everyone a tangible place to return to when grief flares.

Seasonal Check-Ins

During seasonal transitions—like back-to-school, holidays, or birthdays—set aside time to ask: What feels different this year? What do we want to carry forward? What do we want to let go? This awareness of seasonal grief cues can reduce the overwhelm that often comes with change and let each family member know they’re not doing it alone.

Create a Grief Altar or Remembrance Space

Whether it’s a shelf, a windowsill, or a corner of a shared room, invite your family to co-create a space where items representing the loved one can live. This could include photos, items from nature, candles, or objects that remind you of shared moments. Returning to this space in silence or through conversation can provide a somatic anchor during hard days. Some kids like to say hello and goodbye to their person (or pet) through this altar daily. See how it’s use evolves for you and let it be flexible.

Movement-Based Rituals

Grief often lives in the body. Try doing a slow walk together in nature, a shared stretch or gentle breathing exercise, or a dance party with your loved one’s favorite music. Family members of all ages might enjoy collaborating on a shared grief playlist. These rituals offer a way for the body to move some of the heaviness and help regulate the nervous system.

Family Story Nights

Set aside time to tell stories—not just about the person (or pet) who died, but also about how each of you has been changed by loving and losing them. Normalize a range of emotions and expressions, including laughter. Storytelling can be an especially healing narrative therapy practice for children and teens.

Draw or Create Together

Art can give voice to grief when words fail. Try a shared art night where each family member draws or collages how they’re feeling or makes a piece to honor a memory. This can help bypass the pressure to explain and invite more embodied, creative grief expression.

Weekly Check-Ins

Start a simple, regular ritual where each person can say what they’re feeling, what they need, and what helped them feel connected to their loved one that week. It can be as short as a 5-minute circle. These emotional check-ins model emotional intelligence and grief literacy.

Grief therapy doesn’t only happen in offices or virtually—in fact most grief support happens around dinner tables, in backyards, or through shared rituals that honor loss and nurture connection. There is no one-size-fits-all approach to grieving, and that includes how families grieve together. Whether you're working with a grief therapist in Philadelphia or navigating loss solo, small, meaningful rituals can help your family stay tethered to one another and to what matters most.

These grief rituals can be especially supportive when combined with body-based strategies, somatic support, and a trauma-informed understanding of family systems. If you're a grieving parent, partner, or caregiver, you don’t have to do it alone—grief counseling and grief support groups can offer guidance as you find what works best for your family.