Grieving on the equinox | Ritual for letting go
The fall equinox marks a moment of balance — the brief pause when daylight and darkness are equal before we begin tilting toward longer nights. It’s a natural invitation to reflect on balance in our own lives: what we’re holding, what we’ve outgrown, and what it might be time to release. For those grieving, this can be a powerful seasonal mirror. We may be carrying things — emotions, roles, expectations — that once made sense but no longer serve us in the same way.
Grief often asks us to hold contradiction: presence and absence, gratitude and despair, memory and forward motion. A seasonal ritual at the equinox can create space to gently acknowledge what we’ve been carrying and explore what we might be ready to set down — not with pressure to “move on,” but with care for the weight of it all.
You don’t need a complicated setup for this ritual. Just carve out an hour or so of uninterrupted time and gather a few simple items / spaces:
a small bowl of water
a leaf or stone from outdoors
a pen and paper
a safe way to burn or discard a note (fireproof bowl, compost, trash bin)
a blanket or warm drink to support comfort and grounding
a location where you can feel safe and connected — a backyard, a quiet corner, or a spot by a window
Start by noticing your surroundings. What’s shifting? What’s falling away? You might sit or walk quietly for a few minutes, letting your body adjust to the moment. If it helps, say aloud or silently: “I’m here. I’m allowed to be exactly as I am.”
When you feel ready, reflect on what you’ve been carrying — physically, emotionally, relationally. What have you outgrown? What are you tired of holding? What grief has been heavy in your body lately? Write it down. Be honest, even if it’s messy. You’re not writing a manifesto — you’re naming what’s real. You might write something like: “I’m tired of pretending I’m okay,” or “I’m ready to let go of the pressure to be productive while grieving.”
Once you’ve named what you’re ready to release — even just a piece of it — place that paper beneath the leaf or stone. Let it sit there for a minute as you take a few slow breaths. Then, gently destroy or discard the paper: burn it (safely), tear it, soak it in your bowl of water. As you do, say or think: “I release what no longer fits. I make space for what comes next.”
Close the ritual with something grounding — maybe drinking your tea, wrapping in a blanket, or simply resting your hands on your heart or belly. Notice how your body feels now, and thank yourself for taking time to mark the turning of the season. You don’t need to feel different right away. You just practiced presence, and that’s enough.
The equinox reminds us that change is natural, and letting go doesn’t have to mean forgetting. Sometimes it just means making room — for rest, for grief, for the next unknown chapter to unfold.
