The grief of ghosting
When someone disappears without explanation, the absence can echo louder than any goodbye. It is a grief that lingers in the unanswered questions: Did they ever love me? Did our connection mean as much to them as it did to me? The silence leaves space for doubt to creep in, distorting memories, making us question what was real. And yet, they still watch your stories, a passive presence that neither confirms nor denies their care. It is a haunting of sorts, a reminder that they are still there, just unwilling to be here with you.
For those who process pain through communication, ghosting can feel especially cruel. You are someone who would rather talk it out, who believes in working through discomfort, in honoring relationships with honesty. When another person refuses to engage, it can feel like a rejection not just of the relationship but of your very way of being in the world. The grief of ghosting is not just about loss—it is about the refusal of closure, the denial of your humanity in the absence of explanation.
A Ritual for Holding This Particular Pain
Prepare a Space – Light a candle or sit in a quiet place with a journal. Gather something that represents the relationship — a message, a photo, or even just their name written on paper.
Acknowledge the Unsaid – Speak or write the words you never got to say. Name the emotions that arise: anger, confusion, longing, relief. Allow yourself to feel them fully.
Set a Boundary – Imagine drawing a circle around yourself, a symbol of your emotional safety. If they still linger in your digital space, visualize their presence fading. You may choose to mute or block them as an act of reclaiming your peace.
Release with Intention – Burn or tear the paper, whispering: I release what is not mine to hold. I give back the silence. I keep my truth.
Close with Care – Take a deep breath. Place a hand on your heart and remind yourself: I am worthy of love that stays. I am worthy of love that speaks.
